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I’ve been thinking about my first adult job lately. The one I that I acquired in high school, that paid for my first apartment afterwards as well as two full years of moonlighting college courses...

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What’s important? Where do we go from here? I always had this sense since I was young that the more I thought about things and learned about things the more…horrifying and terriffic the aggregat...

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Winter, I must say, has been doing me right this year. Mild temperatures, but plenty of that clean freeze blanket covering the bulk of the month. Just the right amount of festive blizzards scatte...

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You ever get smacked in the brain with the sudden clarity of a memory not recalled in years? It happened to me sharply the other day (and also to lesser degrees on the regular), of a particular C...

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These two weeks between new years and my birthday are hard on me. I think I take it out on people around, so I steer clear of folks I know. Makes it harder. It’s tough because the holidays are a ...

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I believe that happiness is mostly synthetic, self-generated based on at least partially conscious decisions, but random chance of course plays an unavoidable role- and I’d like to acknowledge ho...

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Some old writer philosopher in the 70s, likely jokingly, penned an article to a concept he had cooked up. According to his understanding of the world, there were a number of immutable rules regar...

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You know, I don’t think people like being appreciated for who they “really are” (whoever that is). I think people like being appreciated for the fake persona they put on for the world, even if it...

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“My kill hand tattooed EVIL across his brother’s fist that filthy five, they did nothing to challenge or resist.” I’ve been trying to get my head around the idea that consciousness and individua...

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I’m not sure there’s anything more comforting than the shiny picture on the packet of “sweet dreams” tea. Summer-dusk blue with winking stars and a crescent storybook moon- Sweet Dreams, a calmi...

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Thinking about letting myself get into the christmas spirit tomorrow. Going to go get a tree and get some decorations up. I could have gone without Christmas this year, as I’m not really in the ...

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Though not a pariah by any stretch, there’s never been a time or place that I’ve fit in. Prior to puberty, perhaps, but nowhere in my adult life have I felt a strong sense of belonging with any p...

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I heard that humans rationalize the world, and their place in it, with narratives. We imagine the greater direction of things as an unfolding story, and separately we imagine our lives as they p...

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Made it through Thanksgiving dinner without any political disputes between family members. As we’ve become more ideologically mixed that kind of talk has thankfully died out. My voting habits mig...

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I don’t believe in astrology, but I’ll be fucked if I didn’t feel the moon pull me right outside and down the sidewalk tonight. I had just returned from the grocer and had intended on settling in...

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Something very precious washed over me the other day. A sentiment. A realization of a kind. A feeling. Years now of loss and dwelling on loss. A feeling of being locked out of a world I used to k...

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Only took me a year. The hardest part was getting all of the foundation rot cut out and replaced. On to the next.

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When I close my eyes I smell winter. This song reminds me of days passed: I used to go out at night when I was a kid exploring the new alien neighborhood the snow bestowed upon my old one. I rem...

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What a beautiful evening. I walked to the store after dark in the rain. It was warm so I wore shorts with a raincoat and umbrella. I don’t have much of a sense of smell any longer, but I could st...

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I feel like I’m on a tram that is flying along at about 3 miles per hour. Motionless and sedated. Gazing generally forward with milky eyes. I think it’s time I stopped smoking reefer every minute...

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I used to have a lot of pride in humanity and in being human, but it’s been a long while since I have felt it for some reason. Prior to Covid maybe, or 9/11. It’s a hard feeling to map, chronolog...

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Is this something everyone grapples with? One of my earliest memories is laying in the dark, on my top bunk, in my first bedroom. I had some stuffed animals to keep me company, and in the eons be...

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When I was a boy there were two moderately sized cities of approximate distance from the small town my family lived in. Each was about equal in size and economy. They both had a movie theater and...

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I don’t know what this is. Not music. But I can’t turn it off, and I feel like I am floating in the clouds of this photograph.

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Enjoyed a little walk through the neighborhood at the very tail end of dusk. There is something about the light at that moment, specifically the horizon- when there is the faintest sliver of oran...

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